i have (half-)read this book called "happiness sold separately". and the title speaks for itself. that book is the perfect example of my most despised kind of books. and whenever I even think of that damned book I get so frustrated I have to get my hands on something to throw just to vent my annoyance. And it seems that neither the two main characters of the book really became happy during that time. that makes me ask myself whether or not i am the same as them. never really experienced happiness. no. i have. i definitely have. and I definitely still, will!
i have experienced happiness quite a few times in my existence. okay, okay. a lot of times. and there are certain times that i felt the exact opposite. of course, a few people know what happened when depression entered a chapter of my life and took over. that is something i never want to go over again. even if there are certain periods that those "bad things" come back to haunt me and i usually end up almost reviving that awful memory, but i will keep my promise to all to NEVER repeat what i did.
anyway, i am happy when i am with my friends, namely, my HS barkada, Joy, Dess, my cosplay pals, and the people who stuck by me in my times of loneliness. i am happy when my family eat, laugh, talk, and spend time together. i am happy when i cosplay. i am happy when i alleviate my passionate urge to draw, to write, to do something somewhat creative. i am happy when things go efficiently and as planned. i am happy when there is someone by my side at my time of need. i am happy when I please people. i am happy when i finish a good book. i am happy when i goof around and play like the child i was and maybe still am. but most of all, i am happy, or sometimes, happiest, when i am with my very own, gorgeous, intelligent, SG koi.
never in my life did i think that i would have fallen for someone like this. this was never my fairy-tale romance. my own version of fairy-tale romance would be something like this:
"i would meet a guy that i like. we would become the best of friends. then, bit by bit, we would fall for each other. i would know everything about him except how he feels about me. after a time of questioning whether he loves me too or not, he would muster all his courage to confess his never dieing love for me in the most romantic way. and i would admit that i loved him, too and our relationship would be taken to the next level as we explore the other side of our friendship. and we would live happily ever after."
nope. it was never like that. it was waaaaaaaay better. my fairy-tale romance could never compete with real-life love. absolutely not. it was far more sweeter, and bitter at the same time, which only makes it sweeter(labo!). and it was the other way around. i loved him first before he became my closest friend. even if everything may not always be perfect(duh! what is?!), its still the one of my most significant and treasured relationship. i can never believe that this is truly happening. its too good to be true that sometimes I wonder if im just hallucinating and then find myself waking up from this oh-so-wonderful delusion. but, its actually happening and I can only hope that this amazing feeling never ends. ‘cause this is it.
this is what everyone wants. this is the key to happiness. bliss. and I actually have it. the common four-lettered word that crosses everyones lips from time to time. i quote “[****] is like a number for it may be real or imaginary”. this is what every person created by the almighty God needs. the inspiration of most of the great artists. the thing that is so complicated yet so simple.
love.
Labels: happy, koi
